The greatest liar that has ever lived...

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.-John 10:10 (NIV)

     A few weeks ago I had heard my pastor say something during a message that made me realize something for the first time in my life. It's something that should be rather obvious but I guess I had never really thought of it before. He said, that the enemy was the greatest liar that has ever lived. I mean I knew it but I guess I didn't realize the extent of what that meant. The reason I mention this is one of the biggest struggles I have is dealing with self-condemnation. Well, the scriptures say in Romans 8:1-2:Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death. So if there is no condemnation in Christ, where does it come from?

     It is crazy because it just sneaks up on you. The voices in your head that just start to haunt you and tear you down. It can even stop you from eating and sleeping. It distracts you. It really starts to consume you. You isolate. You don't feel like yourself. You get angry and bitter. You feel so far from God. I'm sure many of you know what I am talking about. Maybe some of you don't even realize that it is coming from the enemy. If you don't know what I am talking about or haven't experienced it...then you are perfect and I'm rather jealous. haha 

     So are you ready to hear about quite an adventure...? I feel like God has told me to share these moments in my life because others can relate and God wants to speak through it. Most of the time when I struggle I don't publicize it on my facebook. I like to walk in humility and be transparent to the world...I have nothing to hide but I want to use my facebook as an encouragement to others. Another reason why I started this blog is I can share my heart and my experiences and just be real without running out of room on a status update. 

    Last week my whole world went upside down and the enemy put me in a tailspin. I thought I was doing great and I thought I was walking in the authority I had over the enemy...that was until it was put to the test. I was caught off guard. No need to go completely into detail about what happened but I will tell you that not only will the enemy lie to you but he will amplify the problems you are having. I had a situation happen where the enemy twisted the words I was hearing. All of a sudden I was in a place of questioning my identity and the calling God has on my life. I was confused and lost. I was even starting to get angry at God! I was angry because I didn't know what to do. My heart started to get bitter and I was putting up walls. All I wanted to do was be alone. It was honestly the first time in a long time that all I could do was cry and get on my knees and pray. But it didn't seem to work.  You are worthless. You are not good enough. You are just a little girl. You have nothing to offer. You think your special?! You are ugly. You are still the same selfish girl you used to be. When is this goody-too shoe act going to end? You think you are actually going to change the world?! You are just a drug addict and a whore. We will see how long you last. They don't love you or trust you. You did have power and authority but you walked away from it. The terrible lies just kept feeding off of each other  and getting worse. I wanted to scream! Before too long I was having some thoughts I hadn't had in a long time. To explain how intense it was...I had thoughts of using again! I couldn't believe that...that would actually go through my mind again. I would never ever ever honestly want to use drugs or alcohol again. That's when I realized how strong of a hold the enemy had on me at that point. 

    I'm not blaming anyone for what happened. I felt like a lot of the circumstances of different little things that happened during the week just made me FEEL worthless. But that's just the thing I was getting hurt by people and I CHOSE to get hurt and offended. Now that's another thing I struggle with. It's hard for me to accept that getting hurt is a choice. Should I repeat that again?! Taking offense or getting hurt is a CHOICE! My pride doesn't like to admit that. We choose to allow others to hurt us or get offended and if we are confident in our walk in the authority and identity of the Lord it honestly shouldn't matter what is said to us because we ultimately know who our God says we are! We end up taking our eyes off of God and all of a sudden it becomes about ourselves. He did this... She did that... He said this... Well, I am better than that. I will show them what they are missing. These are things that I have said and I'm sure most of us have. So not only was the enemy tearing me down but also trying to make me feel self-righteous and with a heart of revenge. It was all about how I was feeling. Again there getting caught up in myself again! 

Self-righteousness. Self-condemnation. Pride. Bitterness. Resentment. Offense. Lying.

     I don't know if you notice a trend but all of these somehow connect to the lies and the schemes of the enemy. I once was glorifying him and fighting in his army and now I am not...he doesn't like that. He knows my weaknesses, he knows my faults, and he thinks he knows how to drag me back in. I know God allowed my identity to get tested last week. Not because he wants to see me fail but because he wants to see me rise above! The enemy may be the greatest liar that has ever lived and he may be good at what he does...but my God is so much bigger! It's time for us to rise up in our authority over the enemy and stand up and fight in God's army DECLARING who we are and who our God is! I am a beautiful woman of God and through the trials and the pain my love only grows deeper for my Lord! 

Signing off-Little Bird